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I'm sixteen but still act like a little kid half the time. So here's a tour of some of the things in my room I have given names and stories to.

This is Cat Stevens - the actual cat version. I was at work in the holidays, and this girl asked me to keep her toy safe in my pocket. I did, and she never asked for it back. When I tried looking for her to return it the next day, she wasn't there - and apparently wouldn't be there for the next several months. 

 

So technically, I guess Cat Stevens is on loan. I'll return him (or her?) next time I see that girl, which should be soon. If I remember. 

 

For now, he sits on my piano watching my every move. He's got one paw in the air at all times, which must hurt a little, but works for him I guess. What's quite sad is that he's not heavy enough to push down the keys, so his musical career must stay mostly in his tiny little head. It's okay, Cat - one day you will meow out a better tune than the human Cat Stevens. But for now, just relax, take it easy - you're still young - that's your fault... (loll)

 

 

 

 

This is Grimsby. He cost 50 cents because he creeps the bajeepers out of everyone (is that how you spell bajeepers? Is it even a word?)

 

His eyes are vivid-ed on, and he has no legs. I guess the lady who handknitted him didn't get that far. His thumb is also permanently stitched to his mouth, so I guess he won't outgrow that childish habit... and his other hand is attached to his hip for some added sass.

 

One cool fact is his hoodie is moveable, so you can put it up or down. Sort of like a creepy bald baby comp sci major. He's a pretty recent addition, but when I first saw him I knew I'd get him, since he looked like he'd been on the shelf for some time and was sort of cute, in a legless-knitted-soulless-husk kind of way.

 

 

 

Here are the married couple - Lirby and Liffy.

 

The one on the left sort of looks like the Kirby inhale animation, so I called him Kirby but with an L to prevent copyright infringement. He's got a patchwork heart over his leg - probably due to a rip, but I say it's a rare heart condition. 

 

Liffy is sort of like Miffy, hence the name. She's got a yellow dress and always looks like she's frowning a bit. I think it's because she's worried about the copyright infringement.

 

I set her up with Lirby and I think it's worked out great. Blue and yellow go well together. Any hey, who knows - maybe one day they'll have a little green kid of their own, and name him Lhrek, or something.

 

 

 

 

 

This is Betty. She is a very quiet rockstar. Like George Harrison. 

 

Part of the stitching fell off on her mouth, so half her mouth can be swapped between a frown or smile as I choose. I should fix it, but I feel morally conflicted - first, it's rude to stick sewing needles in people's faces (or so they say...), and besides, it might be better if she can swap between smiling or frowning. Forcing her into one constantly seems a bit unconstitutional. 

 

Betty usually just lives on my bed, but recently my dog has tried attacking her, so I've had to place her on my piano next to Cat Stevens, who will keep guard as her watch...cat. They could start a band. Hell, maybe get Lirby on saxophone. He'd have the breath control for it - that's for sure.

 

Michelle has a bowtie, so you know she's fancy. She also has severe scoliosis, as pictured. I don't have much of a backstory for her. Let me think of one.

 

Okay, got it. She was born in France but abandoned by her birth parents, so she wandered Paris Airport everyday, meowing out for her mother and father.

 

One fateful day, she felt colder than ever in the chilly airport, so she followed the bustle of people into a strange little building with lots of chairs. Scared, she glued herself to the wall, and stayed silent as a mouse until she felt the room begin to fly!

 

Before she knew it, she'd landed in Australia. And since everything's upside down there, she had to constantly crane her neck as she continued her search for her one true family.

 

And now she's stuck in my room. Don't worry, Michelle - I'll keep a lookout for any wooden, French-speaking cats.

 

Jonny and Gerard. Bros for life.

 

Jonny on the left has these big, square feet like in Minecraft. Rumour has it he escaped the Minecraft world through the same portal as Jack Black used to enter it. That's just folklore, though - and Jonny denies all accusations.

 

Gerard was originally part of a set of salt and pepper shakers, but his partner seems to have disappeared. Sometimes Jonny hints she might have shattered - but Gerard refuses to listen. He knows she's out there somewhere.

 

For now, though, they spend their days on my shelf, discussing their past lives while they're subjected to my awful music taste. One day they will find Gerard's wife and escape back into the simpler world of blocks.

 

 

 

I call this contraption Stephanie. She's composed of a bottle opener torso and head, a lamp stand acting as legs, and a Barbie dress to ensure decency.

 

I made her when I should have been revising for my maths exams. I remember excitedly running up to my mother and saying "Okay, I'm failing math, but look what I made!!!"

 

What's really cool about her is that when you raise or lower her head, her arms move as well. So pushing her head up and down makes her arms fall and rise, like she's dancing!

 

I got the results back for the those maths tests and I passed, by the way! Even got an E on one, yay! Clearly, Stephanie cheerleaded me to victory. 

 

Take this as a lesson: studying is for nerds. Focus on making creatures out of random garbage to ensure future success.

 

 

Alice has got to be the one to creep out the most people. I've been considering putting a knife or something in her hands to up the creep factor.

 

But she's not possessed me yet. It's a bit odd how dolls are seen as terrifying now, since back in the 40s or so girls would decapitate each other to get a hold of a porcelain doll of their own.

 

I like the pure white clothing - even her eyes, if you can see in this photo. It'd be good to cover her in fake blood for a short horror film or something, especially since she came in this big Victorian-looking pram with big metal wheels. When I walked her home I think I got a lot of concerned looks from my neighbours.

 

That said - I still turn her pram away from my bed while I sleep. Better safe than sorry :p

 

 

There are a few more, but I already seem schizophrenic enough, so I'll stop here. Thanks for reading and wish me luck in not getting possessed (or diagnosed...)